Does Too Much "Control" Create Unexplained Anxiety?
I often feel like an idiot when talking to new people because I’m not a fan of small talk, and have very little interest in the topics that are used for small talk. I’d rather speak in front of a group of 50 on something I know about than stand in a group of 3-4 people and try and participate in topics that don’t interest me. The reality is that I know very little about a lot. On the other hand, I’ve spent 20 years building a large knowledge base about very little, and that’s where people hire me.
News/Media is one of those topics I dread discussing. Why don’t I pay much attention to the world? Because I realized I can’t control it a long time ago. Do I have any influence on Ukraine vs. Russia? Nope. Will I ever have any influence on Israel vs. Palestine? Not a chance. Can I impact the weather? Nope. How about the stock market? I wish.
This is why I don’t watch the news. It’s all stories about things that are meant to scare me or outrage me that I have ZERO control over in my life. Watch your favorite news station, and you're enraged by what others are doing (that you can’t control). Watch your antithesis news station, and you fear the world is ending (which you can’t control). I have enough to worry about when it comes to running a clinic, providing enough for a family of 6 on a single income, and making sure I’m taking care of myself, so neither of those two previous callings gets sacrificed because I’ve created a situation where I’m not capable.
That influence of the news is easy to turn off. I highly recommend it. Forget eating 1 gram of protein per 1 pound of ideal body weight. Instead, turn off the news. You might have greater health rewards with that one shift.
It’s the smaller things that we seem to have “perceived control” over that I think create a constant mental state of alert and lead to unexplained anxiety and worry.
What are these smaller things?
Constantly tracking your package on your latest Amazon purchase. Unless you’re driving the delivery truck, it gets there when it gets there. If it doesn’t, you’re not going to die from it.
Having your phone ding every time your Ring camera detects movement. People are allowed to walk past your house. There are sidewalks.
Constantly checking the local mom’s Facebook group on things that people are giving away for free. If you had to pay $5, you wouldn’t want it. You only want it because it’s free, and it creates FOMO badly.
Micromanaging your movement, sleep, and recovery stats on your wearable. Could your constant monitoring be making your stats worse?
Not letting your kids make a mistake or not allowing them to feel pain.
Based on all the podcasts you listen to, you’re scared to eat anything, you’re petrified of not getting the right amount of sleep, and you’re damned for buying an old house due to potential mold, and you’re damned for buying a new house due to the off-gassing from the building materials.
I’m sure there are thousands of things that I am missing, which keep people’s minds in that perpetual state of protection. Because I can’t think of them, hopefully, it means they are things I’ve filtered out of my consciousness of things that don’t serve my mental energy.
There are real scenarios that create anxiety, whether that's emotionally or metabolically. But for so many, their self-diagnosed anxiety or ADHD might just be that they need to let go of control a bit.